


Having A Grey String And What It Means - An Essay By Logan Sanders

by Lightsandfire



Category: Sanders Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad, Therapy, i don't know yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27864142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightsandfire/pseuds/Lightsandfire
Summary: While he knew that he was not the only one, he still felt alone. A colourless string that led from his wedding finger to the sky, instead of one of the colour of his own heart. A string that disappeared into the clouds, meaning his other half was far, far away. The moment he learned what those strings meant, he asked his parents why his was not the colour of his mothers’ lipstick, but the colour of the sky on a cloudy day. He remembered clearly, even over a dozen years later, the pity that had been in his mothers’ eyes and the sad look his father had given him.“It means,” his mother had begun to explain, “that you might not get the chance to meet your soulmate.”When he was small, he had not understood the full meaning behind that....Now he did.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	1. Summary (Not A Chapter)

**Author's Note:**

> Salutations,
> 
> This is just the summary, since I have not written anything yet. This will be updated whenever I feel like/have the time to write. (Might be better to wait until this is completed to start reading, because I might never finish it, knowing me).
> 
> Let me know if you need me to tag something.
> 
> J

While he knew that he was not the only one, he still felt alone. A colourless string that led from his wedding finger to the sky, instead of one of the colour of his own heart. A string that disappeared into the clouds, meaning his other half was far, far away. The moment he learned what those strings meant, he asked his parents why his was not the colour of his mothers’ lipstick, but the colour of the sky on a cloudy day. He remembered clearly, even over a dozen years later, the pity that had been in his mothers’ eyes and the sad look his father had given him. 

“It means,” his mother had begun to explain, “that you might not get the chance to meet your soulmate.” 

When he was small, he had not understood the full meaning behind that.

...

Now he did.


	2. Chapter 1

_Red strings were for those who would love, who would cherish, who would die together in eachothers arms.  
Grey strings were for those destined to be together, but who would never meet. Be it unfortunate decisions , distance, illness or death. They would not love each other.  
Black strings were for those who had lost their other half already, whether they had met them or not.  
No one except for yourself could see the string knotted around your wedding finger._

When Logan had learned what the string on his finger meant, he had started researching them. He loved to learn, to gain knowledge to fill his brain with. He started compiling all of the information he learned from his research together, making it his own “experiment”. Before he learned that, apparently, it was inappropriate to ask people about their strings, he had interviewed family members about them. He had read all of the books in the library about it, even the ones above his level.

By the time that Logan was in highschool, he had accepted his fate, that he would never meet his soulmate. To be honest, he didn’t even want a soulmate. One person that you are supposed to love unconditionally? No, he had long ago decided that feelings were better to be left untouched. He didn’t want nor need them.

_While it is generally accepted from younger children, it is not appropriate to ask others about their string or the colour it has, or if they had met their soulmate. While most people are in a relationship with their soulmate, it is generally “accepted” to be in a not-soulmate relationship, though often it is not spoken about. Most people keep the colour of their strings private, as it is seen as a deeply personal fact about oneself._

The one person he considered that he loved, with the exception of his parents, was his best friend, Patton. They had met in fifth grade, when Patton had been crying on the edge of the playground. Since Logan usually sat there during breaks, reading one of the many books he had, he figured he had to comfort the boy. They had been best friends ever since, even now that Logan was a professor at the college he used to go to, and Patton had his own bakery.

And, even though Patton and him told each other everything, Logan had never told him about his string. About how, during their last year of highschool, it had started to darken, signalling his soulmate was dying. How during his first year of college, it had suddenly turned midnight black one day. That day had been the first time in years that he had cried, and he hadn’t even known why. He had not wanted his soulmate, so why did he mourn?

He had kept all of this a secret from his family, Patton and his peers. No one could see his string, so he let them all believe that there was a pretty girl out there for him to marry one day. It was easier than to deal with their emotions and feelings about it, because, even if his string had been red, there wouldn’t be a girl attached to the other side.

_Though it has not been researched in a professional setting, it is believed that soulmates have a bond beyond the string that attaches them to each other. From my own research I can confirm that one can grief their soulmate, even if they have not met nor formed a physical or mental bond. This confirms that there must be some kind of emotional bond between the pair._

And yes, of course he had felt bad for his soulmate, that they had left the living realm so young, but he had decided he had to move on. There was no use to mourn someone he never would have met. There were more important things, after all.

Logan thought about all of this on his way to his first class of the day. He taught Astronomy and Advanced Calculus classes at the local college. This, too, was part of the few things in his life that he loved. Another thing he loved was spreading his knowledge, hence why he had decided to become a professor, but the thing he loved most about his job was the structure it brought into his life.

He always got up at six in the morning, got coffee and breakfast from Pattons’ bakery, stayed at work until six in the evening, ate dinner, prepared for the next day and went to bed. That is how Logans’ days had been for the past year and a half, only today would be different.

In their last year of highschool Patton had told Logan about his soulmate. Patton had met him when they were very young, as they had been neighbours. They had been friends for a few years, until a drunk driver had taken Pattons’ soulmate away from him. Only a few months later, he had met Logan. Patton had been through a lot of therapy since then, still going, twice a month, to a group therapy for people who had lost their soulmate. Last week, Patton had asked Logan to go with him. At first Logan had been concerned. Had Patton somehow been able to guess what happened to his soulmate? But when asked why, Patton had said that he would like it if Logan went with him.

So that’s what Logan would be doing that evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I appreciate tips/ideas!
> 
> Let me know if I need to tag something.
> 
> J


End file.
